Saturday, April 30, 2005

thanks raining down like skittles on the blogosphere

reading: 'Walden' by Henry David Thoreau

Listening to: You'd Prefer An Astronaut by Hum, Transmissions From The Satellite Heart by the Flaming Lips

Simple pleasure: peeling glue off my fingers

I simply cannot go one more post without expressing my gratitude to the blogging community for helping my brain, which, up until now had been stewing in stagnant juices that life has dumped in there over the past couple of decades. A creative outlet, a chance to bond with others, a way to increase my typing wpm, a dumping ground for bitching and have been all this and more. Seriously, every day, every f*@%!^@ day, I have to hear, "Git 'er done!"...several times. Come on...I specifically avoided living in the South for a reason, so I wouldn't have to hear that crap. I say we go down there and finish the job that Lincoln started...sorry. I go insane just thinking about it. That is where you come in, blogosphere. You deserve so much thanks.

There is a school of thought that says that it is not the one who is helped who should be doing the thanking, but the person who has been given an opportunity to help others unselfishly, and thus increased their merit. The appreciation I express today may move you up from a turtle to a Rockefeller in your next life. Unless you started blogging for the fame and money and chicks, in which case you might as well stop now...tough break, Spanky!

There is also a school of thought that by turning prayer wheels (and what is the "next blog" button but a digital equivalent of wheel spinning?), one can generate merit. I suppose that the fully conscious act of wheel spinning can help you to develop focus and concentration to some degree, but it pretty much sounds like a waste of time to me. I mean, karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos, right? Let's spend more time on merry-go-rounds and skittles and less on prayer wheels and communion wafers (aka Jeezits). While we're at it, let's burn all the religious texts and play nice...wouldn't that work out best in the long run? Maybe then we could appreciate how nice it is just to be nice. Oh, who am I trying to kid? We'd probably just scoop up all the ashes and fight wars over who got to keep them.

So, I guess what I really wanted to say, blogosphere, is, "You're welcome! Now you owe me."


At 9:51 PM, Blogger Sylvana said...

I have noticed that since I have started blogging that I finally have decent people to talk to. I knew they were out there somewhere.
I also type faster and can now design (if only partially) web pages. Both of those things just upped my stock on the job market! Thank you Blogger!

At 12:16 AM, Blogger sideshow bob said...

No,'re supposed to thank me, not Blogger. Or maybe Blogger is supposed to thank you...or maybe we should thank the aliens whose crashed spaceships granted us the technologies that we reverse-engineered into the computers that we use today. No, wait...the aliens thank us! Yes, that's the ticket.

At 5:17 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Thank you, Sideshow Bob!

At 3:22 PM, Blogger evilsciencechick said...

hey, before the north comes down a finishes the job, can you give a warning to us yankees living in enemy territory? thanks.

and thank you, alien blogger sideshow bobber blogger whatever.

At 11:14 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Personally, I started blogging for the Chicks and Jeezits.

At 6:18 PM, Blogger Lshine said...

I am also much pleased at the communion of the blogosphere. We must take back our country, and take back Jesus. Of course it's hard to fight my urge to just declare (as the Feederz did in their punk maifesto "Ever Feel Like Killing Your Boss) that if He does come back, I've got a lot of nails...rockin tune. The most disturbing thing in the song to me was the word "faggot", spat in a what sounds like sincere homophobia alongside the obvious Christophobia. But Punk was not originally very P.C.

Anyway, as far as the job Lincoln started; I think we made a big mistake in 1865. We should have let the South seced and go their own way. It's not too late, y'all! Apologies to the liberals swimming in the Red-state chili down there, but it feels to me, right about now, like the Civil War never actually ended. It's just now morphed into the Culture war.

As for burning the holy texts, I think few things would please me more than staging a Bible burning in front of Trinity Broadcasting headquarters. Of course I have liberal Christian friends and Southern-dwelling liberal friends.. it's just an emotional reaction, y'all do understand, to seeing my country and my Jeezits kidnapped by redneck Christo-facists.


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